You're so nebulous sometimes
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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