This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize
