I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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