do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
