No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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