Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
