I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
They have beer where we have blood.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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