I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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