my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
