now i know why i became what i already was.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
