Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
