can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
