I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
