ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
