just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
PANTIES FOUND
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