But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
