I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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