What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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