Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
