I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i've created a new STD.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
