btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
