it wasn't lemon gatorade
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
