did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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