i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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