I'm laying in your front yard are you home
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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