you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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