Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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