All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I have already put on my inside pants.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
