I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
