He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
