Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The uberlube is also flammable
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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