did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
accomplished twins. life is a go
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
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