Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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