i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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