i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
false alarm. still invincible.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
