So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You can't just leave with hair like that
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
