You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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