No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
