Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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