does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
