i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
