Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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