Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
