I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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