I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
