How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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