Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
