I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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