you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
