Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Randomize
