it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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