you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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