I just cut my nipple shaving
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
