she was so not down for the gang bang
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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