I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
