dude i'm inner monologue high
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
