i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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