Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
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