so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
