Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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